Let's be honest with each other

Ben and I meet with 6 other young couples on Wednesday nights (it’s our “small group” through our church). This week we talked about getting honest. As many of you know, one of my key characteristics is that I’m an open and honest communicator (or as some would say, I’m a confrontational person). This trait can sometimes offend people and/or get me in trouble, but when I filter it properly, it’s one of my best assets. So I thought I had this honesty thing mastered.

But when we talked about it on Wednesday night, I felt convicted. I’m not being honest in the way that it counts. Although it’s super-easy for me to “call people out” on their own mess-ups, and it’s even fairly easy for me to confess to someone when I’ve done them wrong, it’s not easy at all for me to share my “junk” with people. What “junk”, you ask? You know that hidden stuff that nobody sees unless you tell them about it?

Yeah—that “junk”.

I’m totally guilty of making it look like everything is hunky-dory to those I come in contact with on a daily basis, when in fact something might be totally messed up on the inside. Maybe I haven’t had a true quiet time with God in over a year. But I go to church on Sundays and Wednesdays. Maybe I’m not showing my husband the kind of love and respect that he needs. But I keep our house clean, his laundry done, and a hot meal on the table.

And it’s exhausting living that way.

So why does it matter if I share my “junk” with people or not? Why do I need to be honest with people? For me it’s because of a few things. 1) Accountability. I need people in my life who know what’s really going on so they can pray specifically for me, follow up with me, and call me out when it’s deserved. 2) So they know the real me. If you think about it, it’s quite deceitful to live a life as I have. I can’t truly share life with people until I’m completely honest with them. I want my friends and family to know me for me. Then I can be confident that they love me for me. 3) So they will be honest with me. If someone thinks my life is going along smooth as silk, they’re not likely to be comfortable telling me that they are dealing with (fill in the blank) and that they need my prayer and support. Instead they’re going to only show me their “best foot” just like I’m showing them…and then the cycle just continues…we’ve got a bunch of messed up people walking around who appear to be perfect. Yuck. Who wants that?

So what’s holding me back?

When it comes down to it, I have the same insecurities that most people have. I’m not comfortable sharing my “junk” with people for fear that they’ll judge me. Let’s face it—I care what other people think about me. And if I tell them all of the ways that I’m a screw-up and where I fall short, they’ll think less of me, right? Well, maybe that’s not the case. If I’m truly being open and honest with my family and friends, then of course they won’t think less of me! Instead, they will love me for who I am…my family will because they’re kind of stuck with me and they share my DNA and my friends will because they choose to (side note: if they chose not to love me for who I am, then a friendship is lost and it probably wasn’t that strong of a friendship to begin with).

So, I’m putting myself to a challenge and I challenge all of you to do these same 3 things this weekend (you know as well as I do that if you don’t act on this NOW you’ll totally forget about it…I’m just being honest with you--hehe!):

1) Find someone you can be honest with.
2) Be honest with them.
3) Make honesty a habit.