My husband is constantly telling me that I need to relax. Just sit down and chill. Stop being so busy. He's right. I seriously need to learn how to "be still."
You see, I'm the type of person who feels the need to always be productive (I'm sure a therapist would have fun analyzing me). It's extremely hard for me to just sit and rest. Even in times of supposed tranquility like when I'm getting a massage, my mind is always going full speed with the next items on my "to do list."
Or what? What will happen if I don't get the floor swept? What will happen if I don't respond to that person's email? What will happen if I don't clip all of the coupons before grocery shopping? Nothing catastrophic, that's for sure.
But what am I missing by being so "busy?" Life. Time just hanging out with my husband. Time playing with my dogs. And if I don't get this figured out by the time I'm a mom, then I'll miss some of the precious moments with my child.
The same concept can be applied to my relationship with God.
For the last few months, my head (via my heart) has been swimming with WAY too many convictions. These convictions come from several sources...
- I read 3-4 blogs on a daily basis that challenge me on how I'm serving the poor and marginalized around the world.
- I hang out with a group of people every week and we study the Bible and talk about life.
- I recently completed a 15-week course about God's heart for the world.
- I read the Bible.
- I meet with a friend every week and we talk about how we're treating our husbands, our families, and our friends.
- I read books about all of these topics (I'm currently reading 1 book about how to be a good wife, 1 book about God's desire for us to serve, and 1 book about how to have boundaries at work and at home).
- I pray.
But what's missing here? The stillness. Therefore, what am I missing out on? God.
I'm not taking the time to truly "be still." I'm doing a LOT of talking to God, but not a lot of listening. No wonder I'm so overwhelmed! I'm not allowing my Creator to give me the peace He so badly wants to give me. I've become way too "busy" trying to seek His exact direction for my life that I've essentially taken Him out of the picture.
I've GOT to stop trying so hard. I've GOT to let my mind (and heart) rest. And I've GOT to just shut up and listen.