There is a lot of heavy stuff going on lately and today it all came flooding out in the form of a sob-fest. Luckily I was home when the floodgates opened and I broke down crying! I was able to just kneel and weep and pray. It felt good to “get it out,” but I’m not sure that I feel any better with the heavy stuff—at least not yet. (see UPDATE below…)
These are the things going on with me at the moment…
(and please know that this is not a competition to see who has the most
going on in their life right now!)
STUCK: My passion for orphan
advocacy hit a high (or low) point today…
- I attended a lunch meeting today with the Executive
Producer of the documentary STUCK. He is
a passionate man who has taken a massive issue and decided to do something
about it—very inspiring! Our lunch
conversation was awesome, but certainly heavy.
Millions of kiddos are sitting in orphanages around the world—STUCK—and
a big reason is due to the inefficiencies in the international adoption process.
(Please go here to learn about this awesome documentary and go here to
sign the petition to help change our country’s process around international
- I got home and opened my email to find an update
from a friend who has a daughter STUCK in the adoption process in a very unsafe
and unhealthy place. It’s personal, y’all.
- We are in the paperwork part of our second
adoption. Most adoptive families will
agree that the paperwork is completely overwhelming and often times seems
ridiculous (which the STUCK documentary covers). It’s really personal, y’all.
DEATH and LIFE: This time of
year carries a lot of emotion for me in general…
- March 15th (2 years ago) was the
first time we held our sweet daughter, Edeneku Lee
- March 17th (2 years ago) was the day
that Eden’s birthmother formally relinquished her rights and said goodbye to
her sweet daughter
- March 25th (5 years ago) was the day
my Daddy died suddenly of a heart attack
- April 16th (1 year ago) was the first
time we held our sweet daughter, Callie Jeanne
- April 17th (2 years ago) was the last
day our sweet Eden was in an orphanage—she is now forever in our arms!
April 20th (2 years ago) was the day
the US Embassy finalized our adoption of Eden
- April 20th (1 year ago) was the day
we came home with our sweet Callie
- April 23rd (2 years ago) was the day
we landed on US soil with our sweet Eden
- The Easter timeframe marks the anniversary of my
heavenly father dying a brutal death on a cross for my sins—something I will never
fully grasp, but am forever grateful for (understatement of the year)
GIVING THANKS: Through all of this “stuff,” I’m incredibly grateful for many things…
- Answered prayer – I prayed for the Lord to break
my heart for what breaks His…and He did—to the point of feeling ill!
- Supportive husband – I texted Ben about my
sob-fest and asked him to pray for me…and he did—diligently!
- Gracious in-law’s – I asked them to keep my
kiddos for a couple of extra hours so that I could work through these things at
home alone…and they did—happily!
- Loving Father – I cried out to God for answers…and…
UPDATE: As I was typing this and processing things, my Pandora played
the perfect song (funny “coincidence”) and I was reminded that my God will come
through ALWAYS! Refocused—a good place
Trouble surrounds me
My soul will rest in You
I will not fear the war
I will not fear the storm
My help is on the way
My help is on the way
Oh my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength ALWAYS
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through ALWAYS
UPDATE #2: As I was about to publish this blog post, my Pandora played another perfect song and I was reminded that my God is FAITHFUL!
Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say
Yes, our hearts can say
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did you leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful!