"Oh, I could never do that!"

Those words kind of annoy me. I feel like it's a way the person is trying to sound nice while they actually think I'm crazy. Like when a Southern woman says "bless her heart." Or it could also be that they are trying to justify why they aren't doing the thing they are referring to. Like a defense mechanism. Or it could actually be a compliment--inferring that I am some kind of super woman because I do that thing.

Either way, it annoys me. (just being honest)

Here is a real-life example for you...we use cloth diapers on Eden. Yep, cloth diapers. You can imagine that I've received at least a few of the "oh, I could never do that!" comments on this topic. And I get it. It sounds very hippy / granola / old-school / gross / hard / time-consuming / June Cleaver / whatever. You know what I say to that? Don't knock it til you've tried it! Seriously. The modern cloth diapers are NOT what you might be picturing. I hadn't even considered it until a couple of mommy friends of mine mentioned a class they went to and the brand they chose. So I checked it out and, guess what? I decided to try it (after convincing Ben I wasn't crazy)!

Our main reason for using cloth diapers is for the cost savings. You buy your diapers and inserts ONE TIME and that's it! It's already been a HUGE area of cost savings for us! Especially because most of our diapers were gifted to us! The added benefits are that it's much better for the environment (none of our diapers will end up in landfills), it's better for Eden's bum (only soft fabric touches her skin), and they are super-stylish (the cute colors are adorable).

Another point I want to make is this: don't assume that because I'm using cloth diapers, I'm against disposable diapers. I think some people give me a defensive type of response because they think that I think they are a bad mommy for using disposable diapers. That couldn't be further (or is it farther?) from the truth. In fact, we do use disposables on Eden every now and then. And when she's in nursery or daycare, we will likely have to use disposables because many programs do not do cloth diapers.

The bottom line is that every parent should make decisions based on what is right for their own family. I see a lot of moms get into a bad place with this type of thing--comparing to other moms. It can be about breastfeeding, sleeping habits, schooling, working away from home or staying at home, you name it. You know what I'm talking about. You've heard the tense, awkward conversations between moms before ("oh, you're homeschooling?" "wow, your baby still doesn't sleep through the night" "you know that breastfeeding is best, right?"). Here's my stance: it's ok for moms to be passionate about these topics and share information if it is solicited; however, we MUST be encouraging to other moms and respect that their choices are just that--their choices.

Moms unite. Build each other up. Don't judge. And definitely don't do the annoying passive style of judgment with not-so-subtle comments as I've mentioned above. And on the other hand, don't be a super-defensive mom who thinks every other mom is judging her.

And P.S. If you're not a mom, it's probably best to NOT chime in on these topics. You don't want to be "that girl" who thinks she knows how she's going to do it when she's a mom. Believe me...I speak from experience...sigh.

Click here if you want to see the brand of diapers we're using. And if you want more information on what cloth diapering looks like for us (what our "routine" is), please ask!

One final note about the "oh, I could never do that!" comment: many people have said that to us regarding our adoption. Please, please, please understand that you CAN do that! We LOVE talking about our adoption journey so that others will you can see just that! So please ask us!