I'm not really a "kid person." This reality scared me as we began the adoption process. The thought of becoming a Mommy was exciting, but completely overwhelming at the same time. Luckily, the reason I'm blogging about this is that God truly changed me and I'm absolutely loving being a Mommy (especially since I'm off work for 8 weeks)!
First, let me explain why I don't consider myself a "kid person" even though I've always been around kiddos (I've been babysitting since I was 14 years old; I have 6 nieces and nephews and consider myself very involved in their lives; most of my friends have kids; etc.).
Facts about me:
I'm a very independent person and I really enjoy my alone time.
I love the quiet. Too much loud noise for a long period of time makes me anxious.
I tend to be very selfish with my time.
As a side note: Luckily, I married a man who is the opposite of me in this area. He is the one who wanted kids so badly. He defines success in life by being a Daddy. He is very giving of his time. Thankfully, throughout our marriage, these amazing qualities in my husband have helped me grow into a more giving person. I've begun to realize that helping others is much more gratifying than being alone to read (although, I still do that sometimes to maintain my sanity).
These are some of the worries that went through my head as I thought of becoming a Mommy...
What if I get annoyed by her like I sometimes do with other kids?
What if I want to "send her home" like I look forward to doing when I'm babysitting?
What if I don't want to play with her?
What if this is the end to my alone time? Can I survive like that?
Before we left for Ethiopia, I wrote down many of my worries and also wrote down Phillipians 4:6-7. This was written from Paul while he was in prison:
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.
I prayed about all of my worries. And guess what? I experienced God's peace. And He blessed me with a daughter who is SO cute and is SUCH a good baby that it was super-easy to bond with her. It has been completely natural, which isn't something I thought could happen with me. It was never "natural" for me with other people's kids, so I honestly thought it would take time for me to enjoy being around my child. Thankfully, I was wrong!
Bottom line: God favors adoption, He absolutely loves children, and He took all of my worries and turned them into blessings! I know there will be challenges to being a Mommy, but I also know that I can lean on Him for guidance.
5 comments:
I am so glad you wrote this post.....I worry about that a lot. I am very selfish with my time too (something God has been working on)....luckily my husband is totally opposite too! I am glad to hear things are going so well.
Amen! It is amazing how God gives you just what you need for your child. I was worried before I had Angela as well that I would have days of just being frustrated. Granted I have days where frustration creeps into moments, but not the way I was anticipating. Throughout each challenge I am amazed at how a smile melts my heart, or how my patience has grown, or how much joy I find in just the daily 'playtime'. (which I was at one time worried about feeling bored or lonely...but instead I feel privileged.) Angela can have the most challenging day and after an hour of nap time I miss her. God truly has created ( and hopefully will continue to do so) the mom's heart that I needed and always wanted.
It is so different when it is your own child, and you and your husband have waited longer than most for you special angel. Your love of god and your daughter will get you through anything.
Pamela Jo
Not a kid person either. I was surprised, am continually surprised, though by how much I adore my own. And now that they are 10, 10 and 5, I get to bring books to the beach again! It only took ten years.
Girl - I had the SAME worries. Jeremy and I are both so selfish! God amazed us by how much we love our daughter. I am sad to put her to sleep each night. I just want her to be with me all the time, even in church! Isn't God so awesome!?!? Love your posts!
Post a Comment