A BIG Day in our Journey

The morning of March 17^th started off interestingly enough…no cold water in our hotel room!  Lauren was in the shower when all of the sudden the water started scalding her.  We called Patty’s room and she confirmed that her cold water was also out.  We’ve heard of hot water being out, but the fact that the cold water went out was interesting.  So, after some creative hair rinsing to get the shampoo out of Lauren’s hair, we finished getting ready for court.

Danny picked us up right on time at 9:00am and we headed off.  The drive was very sad and eye-opening, as we passed through parts of Addis with many crippled people and children begging for money.  We didn’t talk much in the car, but we were praying individually for the people (“Lord, give me your eyes”).  In the center of Addis, in front of what looks like a big open-air stadium, Danny stopped to pick up our case processor, Haile.  We’re glad he told us who this guy was or we would have thought he was just picking up a random person off the street!  Haha!

After about a 35 minute drive, Danny pulled over to the side of the street and came around to let us out.  We followed Haile into a building (that didn’t look like any type of courthouse, for sure!), up 4 flights of stairs, and into a small room crammed with a lot of people who looked like us (people dressed nicely with concerned looks on their faces).  We weren’t given any instruction, so we just stood there like the rest of the people. 

We noticed that every 5 minutes or so, a lady would open a door and call out a name (or maybe it was a number??) and an Ethiopian case processor would direct their corresponding adoptive parents into the room.  The room remained fairly quiet, and if it got too loud, someone would “shush” the crown (there were signs on the walls that said “silence”).  As the people would come out of the room, we would try to read the expressions on their faces.  Some were straight-faced, some were crying and smiling.  They would all walk straight out of the room and back downstairs, so we didn’t really ask any questions.

The room started clearing out quickly as they would call in large groups at a time.  We realized that these large groups were from other countries (France, Spain, Germany) and needed an additional translator (the judge and most educated Ethiopians speak English and Amharic).  They were all done together because of the translator.  Anyway, as the room started clearing out, we noticed that there were a handful of Ethiopian women in the room.  Birth mothers.  We had wondered if the birth mothers were in a different court or at least a different room, but suddenly realized that they were right there with us.  We identified Eden’s birth mother fairly quickly, as she looks just like her!  It was then an awkward game of “don’t stare” (she was staring at us, too) as we waited for our name to be called.

At about 10:40, our case processor motioned to Eden’s birth mother to come in the room.  Our hearts were now pounding.  She was about to make the final decision to relinquish her rights (or not).  We prayed together and within about 2 minutes, she walked out and we were motioned in.

The “courtroom” was just a small office.  There was a lady (who was beautiful) sitting behind the desk and we were motioned to sit in the chairs that lined the wall perpendicular to her.  Haile and another guy were sitting in chairs along the back wall, and there was one other Ethiopian lady who came to us and asked us for our passports.  The judge (the beautiful lady) looked at our passports and then asked us a series of yes/no questions.  “Have you seen her (she said her full name) in person?” yes. “Have you educated yourself on international and bi-racial adoption?” yes.  “Do you understand that you should incorporate Ethiopian culture into your child’s life?” yes.  “Do you understand that this is final and binding?” yes.

Then she said something along the lines of “pending your approval letter from MOWA, everything is finished.”  Not exactly what we wanted to hear, but still good.  If our MOWA letter had been there, we would have heard the words “she’s all yours!”  That would have been music to our ears!  However, our letter was not there, so we’re not yet finalized.  On the bright side, our birth mother did relinquish her rights!  That is a HUGE deal!  So we are still very thankful and we know that God is good…ALL the time (not just when He does what we want him to do when we want Him to do it)!

We stood up and walked out of the room a bit dazed and confused.  Haile followed us out and herded our group (birth mother, her case worker, us, Patty, and him) down the stairs and out to the van.  When we got outside, an older Ethiopian man kept shaking our hands and hugging us (and kissing Ben) telling us “thank you.”  We had no idea who he was, but we reciprocated and smiled.  Once we were in the van, we asked Haile who he was.  He was the director of the orphanage where Eden was originally taken (before she was moved to Hannah’s Hope).  Very sweet.

Once we realized that Eden’s birth mother and her case worker would be riding in the van with us back to Hannah’s Hope, we felt a bit awkward.  We introduced ourselves and shook her hand and then just sat in silence the rest of the trip.  They don’t make an etiquette book for those kind of situations!  Also in the van, Haile asked us if we understood what the judge had said and he confirmed our understanding.  He gave us a lot of hope by noting that the MOWA letter could even come in that afternoon or by the following Monday.  That definitely made us feel better! 

After the long, awkwardly silent van ride, we arrived at Hannah’s Hope.  We immediately went to the office and asked the AGCI staff when our birth mother meeting would start.  One of our favorite AGCI Ethiopian staff members, T (not sure how to spell her name properly, so we'll just call her "T" for now), said that she would be our translator, and she gathered some chairs around a table.  It was a fairly large group of people around that table for our meeting.  Eden’s birth mother, her case worker, 3 AGCI staff members (all bi-lingual), Patty, and us.  We started by asking Eden’s birth mother if she would mind if we video-taped and photographed the meeting.  She said she didn’t mind.

With the camera rolling, we first gave her the letter we had written for her.  As T translated it to her, we watched her reactions/expressions closely.  She didn’t make any eye contact with us, but she did smile regularly.  After the letter, we gave her the photo album we made for her (containing pictures of Eden, us, our house, etc.).  T flipped through it with her and explained who/what everyone was.  She definitely seemed to like the photos!  After that, we started with our questions for her.  It was a great relief to us that she was very open with her answers.  She just kept talking and talking!  It was awesome!  We have so much information to pass along to Eden as she gets older!

After our meeting, T said that she would go get Eden and bring her to us so that we could take photos and so her birth mother could say her final goodbyes.  Deep breath.  They brought Eden in and put her in her birth mother’s lap.  Her birth mother was smiling and noted that she looked so healthy and big (a very good thing!).  We went outside and took several pictures that we will cherish forever.  Then we were told that we would go back to our hotel for lunch and come back later in the afternoon to see Eden.  Her birth mother would get to say her goodbyes without us there.  It was definitely difficult to leave Eden in her birth mother’s arms as we walked away, but we knew that it was an important part of this entire journey.