This Q&A post is not meant to deter you from asking us questions directly. We just thought it might be helpful for those of you who don't see us or speak to us very often. These are the questions we frequently get asked along with our best answers to them...
Why adoption?
Ben and I felt a strong calling to adopt in September 2009. We can’t really explain it in any other way than that—a calling. We had been trying to get pregnant for about a year prior to that, but thankfully had not experienced any loss associated with infertility and had not exhausted our fertility options. The fact that we did not already have children and were not pregnant certainly made it easier to say “yes” to adoption; however, this journey is about so much more than our desires to have children. We are excited to see how God will continue to work in us and to meet the child He has chosen for us.
Why international? Why not domestic?
The calling that we felt was very clear to us. Adopt an infant. Adopt internationally. Adopt right now. The beauty of the body of Christ is that we are all called to different things and we have different passions. Our particular calling and passion is to international adoption.
Why Ethiopia?
Ethiopia kind of picked us. You see, Ben and I initially did not feel a strong calling to any particular country. We based our country search on what we felt called to do (adopt an infant; adopt internationally; adopt right now). We started by selecting an agency (All God’s Children International—or AGCI), then we gave our information to see which countries matched with us. Since we are adopting an infant, that narrowed it down significantly (some countries only adopt toddlers and up). Then they take into account your ages, years of marriage, etc. For us, all signs pointed clearly to Ethiopia!
Are you going to adopt a boy or a girl?
Ben and I are open to either gender. We even put on our paperwork that we’re open to twins, so we’ll see if that happens!
Do you know if your child will be healthy?
In the adoption paperwork, there is a question that reads “are you open to special needs?” For us, that was a tough decision to make. First of all, it’s a bit strange to get to select the parameters for your child—when a woman is pregnant she doesn’t get to do that. Also, that kind of question forces you to confront any selfishness, insecurities, or overall ugliness in your personality. Ultimately we decided to check the “no” box to that special needs question and we are at peace with our decision. We know that God has chosen the perfect child (or children) for us.
What background information will you know about your child?
It depends. Our agency (AGCI) will review and finalize our child’s background information and will provide us with any records (medical, psychological, historical) that they have. No matter what background we know or don’t know about our child, please understand that our child’s story is going to be a very private and personal one—and possibly painful. Our child will likely have residual hurts—whether that stems from a stressful pregnancy, being left in an orphanage, or something else altogether. When we do get matched with our child and learn his background, we will likely talk to our parents about the story, but will respect our child and wait until he is old enough to decide for himself who else he would like to share it with. Please pray for healing of our child’s heart and pray that we can be for him what he needs us to be.
How long does it take?
With adoption you have to “expect the unexpected.” The estimate for someone with our parameters (infant, Ethiopia, either gender, healthy) is approximately 8 months from the time we submit our dossier to the time we are matched with our baby. What that means is that we should be parents by the end of 2010. I keep the checklist on the right-hand side of the blog updated with current timeline information.
How much does it cost? Why so much?
Adoption is a wonderful way to grow a family, but it is an expensive venture. Our adoption expenses will cost in excess of $30,000. This includes legal fees, travel expenses, training programs, administrative fees, etc. Our adoption agency provides us with all of the services associated with our adoption including serving as liaison with foreign authorities and orphanage personnel in Ethiopia. One of the many comforts we have with our agency is that they were among the first group of agencies to receive Hague Accreditation. The Hague Convention on Inter-country Adoption is an international agreement between participating countries on best adoption procedures. To receive accreditation signifies the highest standards in integrity and leadership among adoption providers.
Will you travel to pick up your baby?
Yes. We actually will be traveling to Ethiopia twice during the process (flying in to Addis Ababa). Although we will not know our exact travel dates until the last minute, we do know that our first trip will be for our Court appointment with the Ethiopian Federal Courts and our second trip will be for our US Visa Interview appointment. On the first trip, we will go a few days prior to Court, spend time with our child (or children), and attend the Court appointment. If our child was relinquished by their birth family, this would allow us the opportunity to meet the family. Then it’s going to be tough because we’ll have to leave our child in the Hannah’s Hope orphanage in Ethiopia and come back to Sugar Land. Then 5-8 weeks later, we’ll travel again to pick up our child, go to the US Visa Interview appointment, and come home!
When can we meet him/her?
Through our adoption training, we’ve learned that it’s best to keep visitors to a minimum for the first few weeks. The main reason for this is to help form the attachment between our child and us as parents. Since orphans generally have several different caretakers who come and go, they are not used to bonding or attaching to one caretaker. After the recommended timeframe, we will gladly show off our child to the world!
Have you thought of names?
We will keep our child’s best interest in mind when deciding whether or not to change his/her first name. Social workers explain that changing an adopted child’s first name can potentially harm his/her sense of identity. Often times, the first name is the only connection the child will have to his/her birth mother. No matter what happens with the first name, we’re certainly excited about our child becoming a Huss!
What is the orphan situation in Ethiopia?
The country has more that 4.6 million orphans. Approximately 800,000 children have lost one or both of their parents to HIV/AIDS. Starvation and diseases such as malaria are other problems that have affected the Ethiopians. Orphaned children often become invisible to society because they are left with little choice about their own future. Orphans taken in by extended family often work on rural family farms and are therefore not able to go to school. Working is more a necessity than a choice. Orphans who do not have extended family go to orphanages run by the government or private organizations. Because most orphanages have little money, the orphans live in desperate conditions; nevertheless, these orphans are given food and clothing and they are able to go to school.
What if…?
There are no guarantees with adoption. We have no idea what the temperament of our child will be or how he/she will develop. We have no way to predict what the future holds. But there are no guarantees with children you birth, either. There are no guarantees anywhere when it comes to having children…or in life, for that matter. The child that God has chosen for us will become a part of our “forever family” just like children you birth. There is a "no return" policy, and for that we’re glad.
My Abster
Indulge me as I brag for a moment...I have 6 nieces and nephews (so far) and I am SO proud of ALL of them. In fact, I find it hard to imagine what type of emotions I'll feel when I have my own children because I can't imagine loving a kiddo more than I love my nieces and nephews. I just love 'em to pieces!
Abby is the oldest of the 6 and she'll always hold a special place in my heart. Although I don't get to see her very often now (because I moved to Texas), I spent a LOT of time with her when she was a baby and because of that I feel a special bond with her. A few pics to explain (the snuggled up position was very common for the 2 of us)...
Here we are on her birthday (November 26, 1997)!
And a few years later...
And on her 5th birthday...
Abby will be a teenager this year (wow!) and I wish I could say that I played a part in helping her develop the creative talent that she has, but that couldn't be further from the truth! I support her and cheer her on, but I don't have a creative bone in my body. She does get it honest, though. Abby's mom is my older sister, Jenny. Jenny and I are the closest in age of all 4 of us girls, but we couldn't be more opposite when it comes to our talents/gifts. Jenny is super creative--she can sing, she can dance, she can draw, she can...create! And well, Abby has certainly followed in her mama's footsteps when it comes to her creative talents!
This is where the bragging comes in. Here are some pics to showcase Abby's talents--and this is just a snippet...
She dances!
She draws & paints!
Your eyes aren't fooling you--this is a 16x20 in oil pastels that Abby recently did. Isn't it AMAZING?!?!
Abby is the oldest of the 6 and she'll always hold a special place in my heart. Although I don't get to see her very often now (because I moved to Texas), I spent a LOT of time with her when she was a baby and because of that I feel a special bond with her. A few pics to explain (the snuggled up position was very common for the 2 of us)...
Here we are on her birthday (November 26, 1997)!
And a few years later...
And on her 5th birthday...
Abby will be a teenager this year (wow!) and I wish I could say that I played a part in helping her develop the creative talent that she has, but that couldn't be further from the truth! I support her and cheer her on, but I don't have a creative bone in my body. She does get it honest, though. Abby's mom is my older sister, Jenny. Jenny and I are the closest in age of all 4 of us girls, but we couldn't be more opposite when it comes to our talents/gifts. Jenny is super creative--she can sing, she can dance, she can draw, she can...create! And well, Abby has certainly followed in her mama's footsteps when it comes to her creative talents!
This is where the bragging comes in. Here are some pics to showcase Abby's talents--and this is just a snippet...
She dances!
She sings & acts!
She draws & paints!
Your eyes aren't fooling you--this is a 16x20 in oil pastels that Abby recently did. Isn't it AMAZING?!?!
Yes, people--she does it all! And apparently I'm not the only one who is impressed. As the "Webster Parish Most Talented Student 2009", she has been asked to have an exhibit of her various artworks at an upcoming festival; and was asked to provide three entertainment performances to showcase at her school and throughout the festival!
Go Abster!!
The Huss Hotel
March was a busy month at the Huss Hotel, and I think it further confirmed to us how much we LOVE having a full house! People often think we're hosting them in our home out of obligation, but that couldn't be further from the truth. We honestly enjoy guests! Ben and I both agree that since God blessed us with a house, we should open our doors. And it's not like it's a hassle for us--we have FUN when our house is full!
In the month of March, we hosted folks every weekend...
Mar 5-6: 9 fifth grade boys and 2 adults for our church's middle school event
Mar 10-14: 6 relatives for a family wedding
Mar 19-21: I was out of town, but Ben hosted 2 relatives and 1 dog for Project Dance
Mar 26-28: 6 seventh grade boys and 2 adults for our church's older youth event
So, if you're ever in the Houston area and want a free place to crash, just call the Huss Hotel! We always have room.
In the month of March, we hosted folks every weekend...
Mar 5-6: 9 fifth grade boys and 2 adults for our church's middle school event
Mar 10-14: 6 relatives for a family wedding
Mar 19-21: I was out of town, but Ben hosted 2 relatives and 1 dog for Project Dance
Mar 26-28: 6 seventh grade boys and 2 adults for our church's older youth event
So, if you're ever in the Houston area and want a free place to crash, just call the Huss Hotel! We always have room.
Experiencing Ethiopia in all its Spiciness
On Wednesday night Ben surprised me by cooking an Ethiopian dish for dinner. It was completely his idea to begin exposing us to things that will help us learn more about our future child's culture. I know what you're thinking...and yes, he's an awesome husband; yes, he's going to be an amazing daddy; and yes, he's taken! haha!
The meal he cooked on Wednesday is called Doro Wat, which is often referred to as Ethiopia's national dish. It's essentially chicken in red pepper paste. The paste is called berbere. Ben tried to find the berbere in the grocery store, but came up empty. That turned out to be for the best (at least to me) because it gave us more of an idea of what all is in the paste...a total of 13 spices (and some other things)! It was extremely spicy...and for Ben to say that something is spicy means it's really spicy!
This is a picture of the chicken simmering in the berbere...
Ben worked very hard in the kitchen preparing this meal and it turned out great! I thought it was yummy. I think I liked it more than Ben did...he had a lot more of the spicy sauce (the berbere) on his...I could actually taste my chicken. ;)
Ben is a messier cook than I am, but I'm certainly not complaining. My sweet man did LOTS of chopping and prepping for this meal!
I can't wait to experience more of Ethiopia!
This is a picture of the chicken simmering in the berbere...
Ben worked very hard in the kitchen preparing this meal and it turned out great! I thought it was yummy. I think I liked it more than Ben did...he had a lot more of the spicy sauce (the berbere) on his...I could actually taste my chicken. ;)
Ben is a messier cook than I am, but I'm certainly not complaining. My sweet man did LOTS of chopping and prepping for this meal!
I can't wait to experience more of Ethiopia!
What do I know?
Another Edition of "Don't Forget the Lyrics"
This song by Addison Road used to be one that I thought sounded pretty and sang along to. But once I really paid attention to the lyrics it became more than just a pretty song; it became a conviction and a life lesson.
Maybe those of you who were raised in church have gone through this as well. I got really comfortable and complacent in my Christianity. I still went to church, read the Bible, and prayed; but I was just in my routine. And the collateral damage from that is that my relationship with God became distant. I forgot who He really is. How holy He really is. How big He really is.
Lately I've been learning a lot about who God really is. How holy He really is. How big He really is. And it's awesome! My motivation in spending time with Him has shifted from guilt to love. And when that happens--when we love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength--we naturally run to Him and want to spend time getting to know Him better.
I now do more than just read about Him--I get to know Him. I now spend time listening to Him--not always talking over Him. And I now take time to revere Him (the God who made mountains, ants, beaches, and me)--not overlook Him. Please don't get the impression that I have it all figured out--that couldn't be farther from the truth. But I do know that it brings God the most glory when I desire Him rather than just feeling obligated to serve Him.
The verse in bold below gives me goosebumps. Why? Because I've shifted from just knowing about God to actually knowing God. And I'm thankful that I now catch those glimpses of who He is. Please know that those glimpses aren't just for me--you can catch them, too...
I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all, No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life its name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
Addison Road - What Do I Know Of Holy
This song by Addison Road used to be one that I thought sounded pretty and sang along to. But once I really paid attention to the lyrics it became more than just a pretty song; it became a conviction and a life lesson.
Maybe those of you who were raised in church have gone through this as well. I got really comfortable and complacent in my Christianity. I still went to church, read the Bible, and prayed; but I was just in my routine. And the collateral damage from that is that my relationship with God became distant. I forgot who He really is. How holy He really is. How big He really is.
Lately I've been learning a lot about who God really is. How holy He really is. How big He really is. And it's awesome! My motivation in spending time with Him has shifted from guilt to love. And when that happens--when we love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength--we naturally run to Him and want to spend time getting to know Him better.
I now do more than just read about Him--I get to know Him. I now spend time listening to Him--not always talking over Him. And I now take time to revere Him (the God who made mountains, ants, beaches, and me)--not overlook Him. Please don't get the impression that I have it all figured out--that couldn't be farther from the truth. But I do know that it brings God the most glory when I desire Him rather than just feeling obligated to serve Him.
The verse in bold below gives me goosebumps. Why? Because I've shifted from just knowing about God to actually knowing God. And I'm thankful that I now catch those glimpses of who He is. Please know that those glimpses aren't just for me--you can catch them, too...
I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all, No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life its name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?
Addison Road - What Do I Know Of Holy
My Latest Passion
Because of the disaster that happened in Haiti, Ben and I were contacted about potentially becoming parents to a Haitian orphan (a child who was an orphan prior to the quake). We filled out the forms and waited…then got the rug pulled out from under us because adoptions were halted in Haiti.
Since then I’ve been learning a lot about international adoption and how it’s viewed by certain countries, people, and organizations. Most of the things I’m learning just make me sick to my stomach and make my heart ache. To make long stories very short, there are major aid groups like UNICEF who are essentially against international adoption because they want countries to be able to care for their own and raise their children in their own culture, etc. I get the overall point of wanting to keep children in their own country and culture and teach the citizens of that country to care for their own. BUT, if the country just CAN’T or WON’T do it, then I don’t see why we should make the poor children suffer just to be the learning tools of teaching an entire country a brand new way of thinking/living/being. Doesn’t seem right to me at all…
I’m certainly no expert on this, nor have I done extensive research on the topic or on UNICEF (I do plan to continue my research, though). But what UNICEF essentially believes is that the process should work this way. In a perfectly ordered world, an orphan child would go through a process to verify that it’s an actual orphan. Then, they would try and match that child with an aunt, uncle or some other family member. If that fails, they look for another family in the country. If none shows up, they would look for a foreign national living in the child’s country of origin. If they can’t find a foreign national, then begrudgingly, they might be in favor of that child moving across a national border to a loving family.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m all for orderly, legal, and responsible adoption. There’s just too much at stake here for my liking. You have to wonder if these orphans really benefit from this policy. My gut says that they DON’T benefit from it. What would they benefit from, you ask? Having a FOREVER FAMILY to love on them!
Here are some links if you want to read further about this topic…and I'd love to hear from you if you have a view that will show me that UNICEF is actually in this for the betterment of these kiddos.
Click here for an article discussing UNICEF’s history in thwarting international adoption
Click here for an awesome blog post about UNICEF’s views and a recent report from Haiti by AC (this lady knows her stuff!)
Click here for a story about 3 babies in Haiti (toward the bottom of the blog post) – the twins are totally speaking to me
Please pray for MERCY for the orphans. And pray for wisdom and discernment for the governments, NGO’s, and adoptive families.
Since then I’ve been learning a lot about international adoption and how it’s viewed by certain countries, people, and organizations. Most of the things I’m learning just make me sick to my stomach and make my heart ache. To make long stories very short, there are major aid groups like UNICEF who are essentially against international adoption because they want countries to be able to care for their own and raise their children in their own culture, etc. I get the overall point of wanting to keep children in their own country and culture and teach the citizens of that country to care for their own. BUT, if the country just CAN’T or WON’T do it, then I don’t see why we should make the poor children suffer just to be the learning tools of teaching an entire country a brand new way of thinking/living/being. Doesn’t seem right to me at all…
I’m certainly no expert on this, nor have I done extensive research on the topic or on UNICEF (I do plan to continue my research, though). But what UNICEF essentially believes is that the process should work this way. In a perfectly ordered world, an orphan child would go through a process to verify that it’s an actual orphan. Then, they would try and match that child with an aunt, uncle or some other family member. If that fails, they look for another family in the country. If none shows up, they would look for a foreign national living in the child’s country of origin. If they can’t find a foreign national, then begrudgingly, they might be in favor of that child moving across a national border to a loving family.
Don’t get me wrong—I’m all for orderly, legal, and responsible adoption. There’s just too much at stake here for my liking. You have to wonder if these orphans really benefit from this policy. My gut says that they DON’T benefit from it. What would they benefit from, you ask? Having a FOREVER FAMILY to love on them!
Here are some links if you want to read further about this topic…and I'd love to hear from you if you have a view that will show me that UNICEF is actually in this for the betterment of these kiddos.
Click here for an article discussing UNICEF’s history in thwarting international adoption
Click here for an awesome blog post about UNICEF’s views and a recent report from Haiti by AC (this lady knows her stuff!)
Click here for a story about 3 babies in Haiti (toward the bottom of the blog post) – the twins are totally speaking to me
Please pray for MERCY for the orphans. And pray for wisdom and discernment for the governments, NGO’s, and adoptive families.
Break the Cycle
Mull this one over. It’s an excerpt from a book that my Mom gave to me recently (emphasis and notes added by me). It’s speaking to me in a lot of ways. Mostly about my inability to let go of the control (or my perceived control) over my life. But I think it can be applied in so many situations. Is it speaking to you?
Every believer needs the hope of second chances. Some of us need lots of them. God is fully aware of this. He looks upon our hearts and knows whether we have any authentic desire to be different or if we’re all talk. Do I really want to change or do I just sit there and pray for God to change me, but never take action after I say "amen"?
And when lasting change finally does come, few things are as healing as the evidence that the cycle is breaking. We may have the same old struggles, but we’re making some new decisions. We know we’re coming full circle with God when we stand at a similar crossroad where we made such a mess of life before, but this time we take a different road. Oh, I really want to get to this place! I want to start saying "yes" to God more often than saying "but..." to Him! I want to stop applying human logic to things that God (who thankfully is more mighty than any human) is asking me to do. I want to have an authentic desire to be different so that I can start being a part of God's plan EVERY time He asks me to! I want to take a different road when I come to that crossroad!
Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. - Romans 12:2
Believing God Day by Day ~ Growing Your Faith All Year Long
By Beth Moore
Every believer needs the hope of second chances. Some of us need lots of them. God is fully aware of this. He looks upon our hearts and knows whether we have any authentic desire to be different or if we’re all talk. Do I really want to change or do I just sit there and pray for God to change me, but never take action after I say "amen"?
And when lasting change finally does come, few things are as healing as the evidence that the cycle is breaking. We may have the same old struggles, but we’re making some new decisions. We know we’re coming full circle with God when we stand at a similar crossroad where we made such a mess of life before, but this time we take a different road. Oh, I really want to get to this place! I want to start saying "yes" to God more often than saying "but..." to Him! I want to stop applying human logic to things that God (who thankfully is more mighty than any human) is asking me to do. I want to have an authentic desire to be different so that I can start being a part of God's plan EVERY time He asks me to! I want to take a different road when I come to that crossroad!
Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. - Romans 12:2
Believing God Day by Day ~ Growing Your Faith All Year Long
By Beth Moore
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